I re-read this great line in the classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People today. Though @StephenCovey wrote this many years ago, it remains timely and brilliant advice - simple, clear, memorable, and honorable. There is no better message in an era of shifting work styles, liquid workforces, and most critically, customer-centricity.
But it also got me thinking - what about the way your employees treat you as a manager, leader, founder, CEO? Recently a founder/CEO I’m close to - let’s call her Michelle - received a vitriolic, ranting resignation letter (in the form of an email delivered at 2 am, no less) from a dissatisfied 24-year-old employee. The employee attacked Michelle personally, professionally, and ethically.
It was lame. It was inappropriate. It was disrespectful. And though it was irrational, it hurt.
But instead of achieving whatever goal the employee thought they were after, the email simply saved Michelle and her company money. But more on that later.
So what do you do when you’re busting your butt in your effort to treat employees so well that they want to give the best of themselves to the customer and the company, but they're treating you like dirt? Whether it's an angry rant in the conference room, a thoughtful but furious note from employee to manager, or a rambling email in the middle of the night, every leader deals with this some time. And when you're the boss, you gotta deal with it - head on, and quickly - no nonsense.
A few thoughts on how to make the best decisions for yourself, all of your employees and your customers in this situation:
It ain’t personal. Well, that’s not exactly true. When an employee flies off the handle at a manager, the chances are that there is something else going on in that person’s life that’s triggering this response. While it’s VERY personal to him or her, it’s not likely really about you.
Don’t change your game (at least not right away). I was an athlete through college - and no matter the sport, no matter my age, every single coach reminded every one of my teams to “play our game, don’t get sucked into playing the other team’s game.” The one certain way to lose is to stop doing what you know best. So don’t you fly off the handle, too, or behave in any way that’s outside your usual leadership style. Stay cool. You know what you’re doing. Your primary job right now is just to assess the situation honestly so that you have maximum information as you decide how to proceed.
Don’t just listen - hear. Don’t just read the rant, really listen and hear what they’re saying. Be honest with yourself (but also fair - don’t take this opportunity to beat yourself up).Ask: are there legitimate complaints within the message? Are there learnings I could take away to make our company, customer and employee experiences better somehow? By the way - the answer might be no. There might not be legit feedback in there. But if you listen carefully, you’ll be sure to gather any useful nuggets.
Can you fix it? Now while it’s hard to imagine that the issues delineated in a 2 am email are truly issues with your management style or the business itself, a slightly more rationally delivered message might actually bring some of those things up. Is there an actual problem that can be fixed? Does their feedback include any good ideas to make things better? Do they seem like they want to be part of a real solution?
Don’t take your own word for it. Talk to another trusted colleague or two to get their feedback on these issues (don’t name names - you’re not here to vilify, but to discern). If you mutually agree that there’s work to be done, great. Do you need to be more open to feedback, generous with praise, open with communication? If there's valid reason to do so, go ahead and make changes, improve systems, processes, cadence, etc.
Do the right thing. Did that latest missive from your angry employee come as her first, or one in a growing list of rants? If it’s the latter, chances are this employee is negatively affecting other team members and possibly even - gasp - customers. So be honest, compassionate, direct and firm in your action. While no employee should be rewarded for behaving disrespectfully, it’s okay to balance the feedback on that behavior with the truth that their message - while delivered poorly - has made you take another look at something. If you decide that this relationship can (and should be saved), be thoughtful about how you proceed. And no matter what make it clear that his or her methods are unacceptable going forward.
Cut the cord: But let's be honest. Eight times out of ten in this situation, your gut is probably telling you that it's time for this person to go. Workplace conflict in the U.S. is estimated to cost $359 billion annually. Can your business really afford to bear even a tiny percentage of that number? I thought not. So if they sent a rambling email at 2 am, questioning a long-beloved CEO’s decision-making and passion for the business - or did anything that shows a pattern of bad behavior or unfixable issues - get them out of there before they poison the rest of the team, or worse yet, treat a customer badly
I should note that by acting irrationally, the employee actually did Michelle the CEO a favor - he fired himself, saving any costs of severance and unemployment that would have followed when she inevitably would have had to let him go - not because she was insulted or hurt, but because he acted in a manner that she could never risk in front of a customer. Score one point for Michelle, and an unnecessary zero for the angry employee.
Bottom line? I believe in it so much I made it tweetable: